Reflections in Panama.

I have wandered through this airport and I can't find one book store.Which is a good thing because I need to manage my money spending anyway. I'm getting ready to go back to new york, where I have everything at my grasp and I don't need half of it. I survived on gallo pinto and carne the whole time I was there. I really do need to cook though. I always learn some interesting ways of doing things while I'm on the road. The fruit and yougurt things was great, thanks Natalie. I'm sure it isn't a novel idea or anything, but it is a good one and cheap too. I wonder if its possible to only spend $2 to $5 dollars a day somewhere in the US. What I'm going to have to do is find the next best option. I loved Vermont. I need something that allows me to put all of my attention on school so I can just finish it and be done. Its hard being around people who are doing so many interesting things..some of them I could do right now if I chose. I could teach at one of the many
english schools around the world, I could build houses in Mongolia and stay. I could help the ecology and help preserve the wild in Costa Rica. There are so many things that I could do. But I would simply be cheating myself...I need to finish with school. I'm almost done.

Things are finally starting to make sense though. When I see the people of Nicaragua and how they live, I feel a huge
sense of responsibility to help in any way that is possible. I need to develop my spanish, so that I can help further. I really see myself with the ability to enter in and make a difference, at the end of the day, I am not some rich kid trying to build up his resume. I am a lower middle class person. The son of an immigrant, and I want to make a difference. I never understood why one would work for 7 dollars an hour and appreciate the job.. but you will never know until you SEE. You must see, you must experience, you must walk their streets, you must see the poverty to understand. I don't want to get into the causes. I want to help. So, I'll continue to make a differnce. I'm going to continue to donate to La Esperanza Granada, and as much as I can I will be bringing the school supplies myself, and continue to build my knowledge base. I think I did ok with my spanish speaking abilities this time, but there is always room for improvement. And as I discussed with my friend this week, if you aren't willing to climb into the culture in every aspect, languages and all, you will never gain the trust of the people. And with out their trust you can't help.

But back to the bookstore issue. I seriously don't understand why there is no bookstore here...curses.